Daring to Start Again: An Inspirational Historical Romance Book Read online

  Sarah felt a twist of sympathy in her chest. She wasn’t old enough to have been impacted by the war. She was still a child when it all happened, and she had been shielded from it mostly because there was already a war going on in her own home.

  She was impressed by the way he kept his cards close to his chest. She could tell he was guarded. He had probably opened up more to her in his letters than he had to anyone in his real life. He had clearly been affected by the war. Losing his father had to be what had him wound up.

  She wasn’t sure what to say—or if she could say anything to comfort him. She’d never been in a position before where she needed to.

  “Are you coming?”

  She noticed Bobby was already at the top of the steps and was gazing down at her, an amused expression on his face. He gestured with his head toward the door. He’d managed to get her fabric bag and her luggage trunk when she wasn’t looking.

  Sarah was nervous to go in. The quick ceremony with just Bobby there, his friend, and his friend’s wife as a witness, plus the court recorder, who wrote everything down quickly, wasn’t as nerve-wracking as this felt.

  She was about to enter her new home. It was her home. She was married to Bobby just a few short hours after arriving in Comstock. She was a stepmother.

  Oh Lord, give me strength and courage, she prayed silently. So far, she had no complaints with Bobby. It looked like he was going to make a fine husband. She was willing to bet his daughter was an absolute delight.

  But still, she was nervous. Was she good enough? What would happen if she messed up? She could recall many, many nights when her cooking wasn’t up to her father or brothers’ standards. They were cruel to her about it, incessantly making fun of her, sometimes throwing hot food in her face and burning her skin.

  How would Bobby react when he found out she wasn’t the perfect homemaker? What she really did best was sewing. Would he end up like her father and brothers?

  She shivered at the thought.

  Pulling in a deep breath, she took the next step toward freedom and continued on up the stairs until she was next to him. She was counting on her instincts being right about Bobby. He would show her not all men were the same. She was hoping to God that was true.

  He grinned boyishly and a tingle of amused attraction slid through her when he said, “Can’t open the door. No butler, remember?”

  He lifted the sack that he held in one hand and the trunk in the other, his eyes never leaving her face.

  Sarah laughed, throwing her head back. “Oh, I’m so sorry. Now, see, that’s why I said I was going to carry my bag. How else can you open doors for me like a proper gentleman?”

  Bobby tilted his head to the side with a thoughtful look. “Hmm, you may be right. Here I was thinking I wasn’t being a gentleman by not carrying both bags.”

  Sarah continued laughing softly, tapping her temple with one finger. “I think things out. You’ll find that out about me.”

  His grin was so wide, it was contagious. She got her laughing under control, but her smile was about to crack her cheeks, it was so big. He had a way of putting her at ease that she’d never felt before from any man. Least of all her father.

  The one man a little girl is supposed to trust with her life.

  She let the thought of her father flow through her mind fleetingly, focusing on the beauty of the interior in the big ranch house. The walls were a deep brown, the wood railing going up the stairs in the very middle of the foyer carved with designs of angels playing guitars, their wings spread so each circled the banister as if they were flying up overtop it.

  Masterful paintings hung on the walls, portraits of presidents and kings, knights and noblemen. Busts sat on pedestals between the doors that led to other rooms in the house. They were musicians, Sarah was almost sure of it. But their names escaped her memory.

  The luxury of it all was encompassed by the scent—or rather, the lack of it. She was used to the smell of the industrial buildings that surrounded her hometown and the general decay of the house she’d lived in.

  Words flooded her mind, but she couldn’t come to one that made the most sense. It was clean, it was rich, it was… so wonderful.

  She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, feeling a bit overwhelmed. The next thing she knew, she was being pulled into a hug. She opened her eyes to see Bobby was giving her a worried look and had reached out to her.

  His arms were warm and strong when they enveloped her.

  “It’s gonna be all right, Sarah. Just take it easy. Take it slow. No need to rush.”

  “I am feeling a little overwhelmed,” Sarah admitted. “Everything in my life is suddenly so different. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” She pushed her face against his chest, not wanting to look him in the eye. She’d been so strong up to that point. With all that had changed, it had hit her like a boulder.

  He pulled back after giving her a quick squeeze. He held her out, his hands on her shoulders, and looked her directly in the eye. Sarah felt a strange warmth spread through her, gazing back at him.

  “Don’t you worry. That’s the last thing you need to do. I don’t need to forgive you for anything. You haven’t done anything wrong at all. You’re a very courageous woman and I… I really admire you.”

  Sarah stared at him. Could it be true? Had she enchanted him that quickly?

  “All right, Bobby. I’ll… I’ll do my best.”

  There was a call from upstairs that sounded distinctly like a little girl. Her voice came out into the hallway, louder as she yelled for her “papa.”

  Bobby turned with an automatic smile and glanced up to the second floor. When he looked back at Sarah, he could tell how nervous she was.

  “You stay right here,” he said. “Take your time. I’ll keep her upstairs. Just come up when you’re ready and follow the sounds. Or I’ll bring her down in a little bit, give you time to process all of this. We’ll be in her playroom if you feel ready to come up.”

  Sarah nodded, giving him a grateful look. He was so understanding. She really couldn’t ask for more. She had no complaints. So far, it looked like this marriage was going to turn out well.

  But first, she had several things she needed to confess. Her stomach tightened, thinking about the money in her cloth sack, the fact that she’d lied about her lineage and that she wasn’t an orphan.

  She felt a little nauseous and did her best to hold in her apprehension, watching him go up the stairs, calling out, “I’m coming, Sam, stay right where you are so I can find you!”

  Sarah heard the little girl scream in delight. Her little feet could be heard pattering quickly as she ran back to her playroom.

  “I’m coming!” Bobby yelled out, glancing over his shoulder down to her, giving her a big smile.

  She smiled back but she knew it was faltering.

  Sarah couldn’t help feeling like something had to be wrong. Something had to go wrong with this. Everything was too right.

  Sarah turned away when Bobby disappeared from her vision. She walked around the foyer, looking in the double doors to her right to the biggest parlor she’d ever seen, complete with beautiful furniture, majestic artwork, and heavy tapestries that looked like they cost more than her entire house.

  She wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed. Oh, how was she to get through this without breaking down? Everything was so new. Everything was so scary.

  She gazed through the window, watching as the groom fetched the horses and took them and the buggy to the stables. The young man didn’t see her watching him. He did a kick step dance when he reached the stables and smiled up at the horse as if the animal had laughed with him. He patted the horse on the neck.

  Sarah instantly liked him.

  When she looked to the right, she could see a small bunkhouse in the distance, three windows along its rectangular shape, three men standing in front. They were talking.

  Things were normal at the Huggins ranch. It was as if she had been there for years when a
feeling of deep comfort slid over her.

  Sarah heard shuffling footsteps behind her and spun around to look up the stairs. It was too soon. She wasn’t ready to meet the child. Terror slid through her and dissipated like an extinguished candle when she spotted a woman who looked to be in her mid-thirties.

  She relaxed her shoulders, lifting her eyes above the woman and seeing no one had followed her.

  “You must be Sarah,” the woman was saying, bouncing down the stairs like a small forest creature. She was shorter than Sarah, which was rare, and had the look of a tiny fairy from a tall tale. Sarah got the first impression that though she was small, this woman could cause quite a stir if she needed to. It was how Bobby had described her from the start, anyway.

  “I am. You’re Clara?”

  Clara grinned wide. Her face was slender, and she had a fairly large mouth with straight white teeth that gleamed when she showed them.

  “That would be me. Let’s talk for a moment, hon.”

  Sarah got a strange feeling from Clara’s urgency. The older woman seemed to be attempting to cover it but not hiding it all that well. She looked as nervous as a mouse in a maze.

  “Of course, that’s fine.”

  “Let’s go in the parlor,” Clara said. “It’s more comfortable in there than standing out here where there are no seats.”

  “Okay,” Sarah said. She followed Clara into the parlor. It was obvious the woman was right at home in Bobby’s mansion. That didn’t come as a surprise. If she’d been taking care of Sam since the girl’s birth, she probably felt like the Huggins ranch was like a second home.

  “I want you to know something before you meet Sam,” Clara said, gesturing to the couch near the fireplace. She took a seat on the couch so Sarah sat next to her, folding her hands in her lap.

  “What is it, Clara?”

  Clara leaned forward, her eyes direct on Sarah. “First off, I want you to know how pleased I am Bobby went through with this and he managed to get a decent woman out of it.”

  Sarah blushed. Clara didn’t know her. She was assuming. Sarah couldn’t call her on it because she really was a good woman. At least, she tried to be.

  “Thank you, Clara.” She wasn’t going to deny it. It was a compliment, and she was ready to soak in a lifetime’s worth of compliments.

  “You’re welcome. I can just see it in you. I can tell you’re a strong woman underneath, but you’ve had to suppress it for a long time. Tell me that’s not how you are.”

  Sarah smiled at her. “I can’t deny that.”

  Clara nodded, giving her a satisfied look. “That’s just as I thought. And, bearing that, I have to tell you something that you might not like. I believe you can handle it and will find a way to make things work. But I need you to listen to me, all right?”

  Sarah nodded, her smile faltering. Clara’s expression was so serious now.

  “What’s the problem?” Sarah asked softly, lifting one hand to her lips. She tried not to tremble but she couldn’t help it.

  Clara put one hand out, stretching across to place it on Sarah’s knee. “I’ve been taking care of Sam all her life. She doesn’t know any other woman but me. I think you might find some… resistance on her part.”

  Sarah felt a twitch in her chest. The five-year-old had grown used to Clara as her mother. It made sense that she wouldn’t want to consider anyone else in that position.

  “Now, she doesn’t call me mommy, though she tried to call me momma for a little while because she heard Billy calling me that. But I have been wanting Bobby to find a woman who would be a good wife and mother for a long time. I have my own children, and although I absolutely love Sam, I need to concentrate on my daughter, my son, and the new baby we’re going to have.”

  Sarah nodded. “I understand. I won’t interfere with you too much. I might have some questions sometimes, though. I’ve never raised a child. I have no brothers or sisters.”

  Sarah was grateful she could say that and be telling the truth. She planned to avoid the topic of her family, steering the conversation away from anything that might expose her. The lie would keep growing the longer she told it. She hated the way something small morphed into something too big for her to handle.

  “You must not feel bad when you meet her. I don’t know how she will treat you, but let me tell you, the little girl is extremely precocious and picks up on anything and everything. You must be careful what you say around her because she does not keep secrets and understands everything that’s going on, even if she doesn’t act like it.” Clara said everything in the most light-hearted tone, Sarah almost had a hard time relating it to what she was saying.

  “I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. I’m telling you this now so you can be a little forewarned if she has a bit of a bad attitude for a little thing like she is. Just give it time and I’m sure she will warm up to you. But at first, you’ll have to expect her to be resentful because to her, you’ve come to replace me. I don’t keep anything from my children and didn’t want to keep this change from her. I think it traumatizes children when you don’t keep them informed. When children are surprised by something, it hits them harder. They don’t have time to reason through it and come up with their own conclusions. They are given the ultimate pain on a silver platter, you might say.”

  Sarah blinked rapidly, dropping her eyes to her hands in her lap. “Do you think it will take long for her to warm up to me?”

  She looked up when Clara didn’t immediately answer. The woman was gazing at her, studying her face.

  “It won’t take long, my dear,” Clara said. “As long as you treat her with respect. Even at five years old, Sammy knows what respect is. She will give it to you eventually, but you have to be the adult. You have to let her get to know you.”

  Sarah nodded. “I can do that. Thank you for warning me.”

  Chapter 6

  Sarah and Clara waited for Bobby and Samantha to come down, listening to the sound of their playful banter as Bobby chased her down the hall upstairs and then told her to be careful on the steps lest she fall.

  Sam’s bright, happy voice rang through the house as she screamed and raced her way down. Sarah could see the side of the stairs from where she was and smiled wide when the little blond girl came flying down, her two small hands gripping the handrail for her very life.

  Bobby was coming down after her, a smile on his own face. She could see the love he had for his daughter exuding from him. It warmed her heart, but it also made her a little nervous. What did she know about raising a child? Especially one that already had a family.

  She looked at Clara through anxious eyes. The woman shook her head, moved to sit next to her on the couch, and squeezed Sarah’s knee.

  “Don’t worry,” she said under her breath. “You’ll be fine.”

  “Sam!” Bobby barked. “Wait for me! I want you to meet someone.”

  “But I’m hungry, Papa!” the little girl said, raising both arms and spinning in place with her eyes closed and her chin lifted. “I’m huuuuuungryyyyyy.”

  Sarah, Clara, and Bobby all laughed. It was the women in the parlor that caught Sam’s attention, though, when she heard them. She didn’t lose her smile until she dashed into the room and her eyes moved from Clara to Sarah. Both women stood up.

  “Sam! Look at you in your pretty dress. Why, I think we’re looking at a princess!”

  The loss of the smile was only temporary. When the girl returned her gaze to Clara, she was grinning from ear to ear and did another spin in place. “Look what I can do!” she said. She spun again.